The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black
by thishasbeenabanadoned
Summary: A few drabbles about how Sirius hates his family of pureblood maniacs and possibly other things too.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, locations or and so on and so forth, et cetera, et cetera. **

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**Feel Like Hexing Something**

Sirius stared at the blood red envelope in front of him. It sat on the table, unopened and quivering at the fact that Sirius had no intention of opening it. The majestic black owl that had delivered the envelope hooted in disapproval and soared elegantly out of the open window. The letter shook violently and Sirius stared blankly. Then came an explosion of sound and a woman's voice howled out into the crowded common room.

"SIRIUS BLACK! AM I TO UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE IN _GRYFINNDOR!_"

He started and glared at the letter seizing it in his fist. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and covered their ears with their hands, crying out in protest. He stood up, howler struggling valiantly in his hand, and forced his way to the crackling fireplace.

"YOU DISHONOR THE PROUD NAME OF BLACK!"

He scowled and threw the letter as hard as he could into the dancing flames. The woman's voice screeched and cried out one final word.

"DISINHERRITANCE!"

He turned to see all pairs of eyes in the room staring directly at him. He blinked and then grinned.

"Did anyone see where that owl went?" he said conversationally, "I feel like hexing something."

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**Shame **

Andromeda Black had always easily been Sirius' favourite cousin and his mother's least favourite niece.

"A MUDBLOOD!" Mrs Black cried out in disgust. "SHE'S MARRYING A FILTHY _MUDBLOOD!_"

Sirius thrust head out of his door as she stormed down the hallway cursing Andromeda every step of the way.

"How dare she! Blood-traitor! A _mudblood!_"

He followed her tentatively to a room in which hung a magnificent tapestry of the Black Family Tree. Standing in the immense doorway he saw his mother pause in front of the ancient hanging. She stood there face contorted with rage, mouth opening and closing, speechless in her fury. Then she simply yelled "SHAME!" and pointed her wand at Andromeda's name.

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**Christmas Wish**

He scowled at his plate feeling the unrelenting glares coming from the people seated around the long dining table. Of coarse they had all heard that he had not been placed intoSlytherin as was expected of any respectable Black. All of his living relatives had come to the Christmas dinner and all of them, save for Regulus who was obliviously clearing his plate, were staring at him, the ex-heir.

"So, Sirius," said his aunt Elladora, "I hear you're in Gryffindor." She said the last word as if it were some sort of fungal disease.

Sirius looked up to scowl at her for a moment and then went back to scowling at his pudding. _Bloody pure-blood maniacs_, he though bitterly as his mother's cousin started talking about her campaign for legalising muggle-hunting, _I wish they were all dead_.

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**Author note: Righto, I am considerably new to writing fanfiction and if you would pretty please with a cherry on top leave a review I would really appreciate it. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and places et cetera, et cetera. **

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Déjà Vu

Regulus Black looked at the note his brother had left behind. A single sentence scrawled on the torn out page of one of the most valuable books in the Black Library, and written in handwriting so blotchy it was nearly illegible.

"_I hate you all and I never EVER want to see any of you ever again."_

Regulus didn't really think it mattered, if anything it was an improvement. Sirius had been a disappointment to the family since the beginning, he expected as much from him. His mother however was furious.

"I thought he could shame our name no further! Now he's gone off to those filthy _mudblood_ friends of his! I won't have it! No son of _mine_ will be a muggle-loving blood-traitor!"

When Mrs Black blasted Sirius' name off the Family Tree Regulus was expecting it. He remembered the same thing happening to his former-cousin Andromeda. _Huh_, he thought simply as he stared at the two holes in the tapestry, _déjà vu_.

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**Every Inch**

Sirius had just turned seven. He sat on the edge of his bed, his toes barely touching the floor. He was too old to share a room with his brother anymore, and there were too many empty rooms in the massive house. But the bed seemed unnaturally big, and the room seemed every inch the Black's room and no inches his.

He kicked his feet back and forth half-heartedly as the house elf carried his belongings out of their -- his brother's room and into his new one. Sirius was bored, and with no little brother to wake up in the middle of the night he was sure he would be bored in the future too. He watched as the house elf brought down another box of valuable gold and silver and magical things that were, even though they had been given to him, every inch the Black's and no inches his.

He looked at the small plainly wrapped box in his lap. A late birthday present from his Uncle Alphrad. He unwrapped it and opened the box. There were two simple looking mirrors and a note.

"_For you and someone special. Keep them safe."_

Sirius smiled and put them back in the box. His Uncle always gave the best presents. Presents that were every inch his and no inches whatsoever the Black's.

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**Since the Beginning**

Sirius was four and laughed while he ran at precarious speeds down the hallway. He jumped over an ancient and expensive porcelain vase and laughed louder at Kreacher's cry of terror. "You can't catch me!" He cried out to the house elf and charged head on at a glass cabinet at the end of the hall.

He smiled and laughed again turning sharply left narrowly avoiding a collision with the cabinet. He smiled as he was faced with another long stretch of hallway; the hallways in the House of Black were perfect for having fun, long and filled with family heirlooms that made Kreacher make high-pitched frightened noises.

Sirius stopped to pick up an elaborate silver goblet and grinned at the look on Kreacher's face as he hurried to catch up with him. He turned and ran as fast as he could closing his eyes and feeling the rushing air toss his hair around his head. He ran into something hard and fell on the ground, the goblet falling from his hands. He looked up to see the face of his mother glaring down at him with a frown of disapproval and a look in her eyes that threatened to explode into her voice.

Sirius had been a disappointment to his mother since the beginning.

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**Author note: I'm sorry I took so long to update, my excuse is theend of the holidays. School hasis now taking up all my time in an attempt to tire me out and eat my brains when I am sleeping. Oh well, I hope you like theese anyway and thanks for your reviews, you should feel very appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Non-disclaimer: I can't be bothered with a disclaimer, but anyone with half a brain will know that I don't own Sirius and all that.

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**Death of a Non-brother**

Regulus was dead. Regulus was dead and Sirius wasn't sure how he felt. Sad, he supposed, but not nearly sad as he should be. He was his _brother, _but for some reason Sirius didn't associate Regulus with that word.

In any case Regulus, his non-brother, was dead and Sirius had hated him, and was sad he no longer had a non-brother around to hate. Sirius was surprised to find that he also pitied him. Regulus was the perfect Black, everything Sirius wasn't, he even became a Death Eater. And that, Sirius supposed, was the reason for his pity.

Regulus was daft in every way that mattered. He was talented enough, skilled enough, but he would do anything for his mother and the proud family of Black. And so, in Sirius' mind, he was daft. So daft as to become a Death Eater purely to uphold the family 'honour,' daft enough to try and back out when it had all become too much, he practically dug his own grave.

Regulus was dead and Sirius had decided how he felt. He felt sad, pitying and sorry. Sorry because he didn't feel enough.

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**Why?**

Sirius stormed down the hallway blatantly ignoring his mother's screeches. However, no matter how hard he tried to block them out, a few words reached his ears.

"MOODBLOODS! ... MUGGLE-LOVING! ... BLOOD-TRAITOR!"

He scowled, his skin itched with fury; how dare that hag insult his friends! He forced himself to keep walking, forced himself not to hear, it wouldn't do for him to attack his mother.

"Sirius?" came an inquisitive voice. He looked around into the face of his brother Regulus. "Why are you friends with them?"

"Why not?"

"Well, they're mudbloods."

Regulus thought he had a point. Sirius knew better.

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**Dreading the Morn**

Sirius was dreading the morn. Of corse every one was, in a way, they had spent all day packing and declaring how much they would miss the old castle. But now they slept just as easily as they would any night, for they did not dread as Sirius did. Because the morn meant to them, simply, that they would be returning home for the holidays. But for Sirius it meant he would be leaving the only place he would ever call home, to return to the House of Black, the place he never would.

He knew what would be awaiting him when he returned to the ancient house, and it was much worse than howlers, or letters of severe disapproval, or stuck up black owls that thought they were better than him. It was his mother. It was his brother. It was his father. It was the look he was certain they'd give him, the look they reserved for muggle-lovers and blood-traitors, the look they reserved for him. It was the shouting that was so much worse in person then it could ever be from a howler, or in the form of capital letters and exclamation marks.

Sirius glared out the window and dared the sun to rise. Dared it to send him back. Dared it to give him his death sentence. But it wasn't time just yet; there were still hours of dark left for Sirius to dread the morn.

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**Author Note: I'm sorry I take years to update, but what can I say, I am The Lazy One. And that is all there is to it. I hope you enjoy theese and any reviews will be appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's note: I just thought I'd let you know I'm getting bored with this. You can only write about Sirius Hates His Family or Sirius' Family Hate Him so many times. So I probably won't be updating again any time soon (not that I EVER have). I have only put one drabble here because well I have the attention span of a senile goldfish with amnesia. _

**Eaten?**

"Sirius what's it like at Hogwarts?"

"Terrible. Absolutely terrible. _Especially_ for first years."

"Why?"

"You know how you get sorted into houses?"

"No."

"Well, they lock you up in the dungeons with giant worms and, depending on what happens, they decide which house you'd suit. They figure people in Gryffindor will defeat the worms easy, Ravenclaws recite text books at them and Hufflepuffs dress them up in pink ribbons."

"What about Slytherin?"

"Oh, they're the ones who get eaten."

"_Eaten?"_

"Oh yes, Regulus, eaten."


	5. Chapter 5

**Hungry**

Sirius was doing nothing, he was back in his damned house after he'd thought he'd gotten away from it forever and he was doing nothing. He wasn't supposed to be doing nothing, but he was because doing what he was meant to be doing wasn't really doing anything at all. His thoughts didn't seem to make any sense these days, they hadn't really made any sense any days but that wasn't the point. The point was that he was stuck in the godforsaken house that was Number 12 Grimmauld Place and he was bored.

The door of his room creaked open and a house elf he was not particularly fond of stumbled in taking no heed of him and muttering under his breath. Sirius couldn't make out the words bar a few mentions of 'half-breeds' and 'mudbloods.' He wasn't particularly in the mood for demonic house elves, not that he ever was, and he glared at it. "Why don't you go make some food and be useful for once?" he growled impatiently. The creature did not reply but merely went on another muttered rant about taking orders from blood-traitors. Sirius _really_ wasn't in the mood for this and headed towards the elf proclaiming loudly, "I'm so hungry I could eat a house elf!" The house elf looked up at him, eyes wide, acknowledging his presence for the first time, and upon seeing his dark gaze he then promptly scrambled out of the room shutting the door behind him.

Sirius smirked smugly at the closed door before returning to his thoughts of nothing.

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_A/N: Well, I haven't written one of these for a long time now. I was really hungry, and for some reason started thinking about house elves. One thing lead to another and I was writing about eating them. It's rather incoherent but nevermind. Read, review, be merry and all that jazz. _


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